Halloween was pretty bitchin’ this year. My roommate went as the Hamburglar and I rocked a preggerrific Juno. Which was like the most comfortably amazing costume ever.
Usually, when the roommate and I go prowling around town on the weekends, I try my best to avoid toting a food baby around with me. To accomplish this, I ixnay as many of those evil but deliciously awesome carbos as I can from my daytime diet to keep my tummy looking as much like the pre-Columbus world as is possible.
But not this Friday, boy-o. This Friday, I let my inner fat kid tear it up. And the carbier the better! Pasta la vista, contents of my fridge! After all, as Juno, I had to look as preggers as possible.
I once read that Matt Damon lost something ridiculous like 40 pounds in about an hour for two days of shooting as a Gulf War vet in the movie Courage Under Fire.
I share his fortitude for whole heartedly committing to a role - but on the total opposite end of the spectrum. Way more fun becoming a tub of chub than a Kate Moss.
Before the roomie and I hit the town, we had some delightful trick-or-treaters come a-knockin’ on our door. Thankfully, Stacey had bought some Reese’s to hand out. All I had to give were either some stale Zips, a hand full of dried cranberries, or a swig of strawberry flavored Smirnov, which I didn’t think would bode well with the munchkins’ parental units.
Since Stacey was decked out as the Hamburglar, we decided to pop into Mickey D’s for ha ha’s on our way downtown. Unfortunately, the hilarity was utterly one-sided.
No one batted an eye when she walked in - not even the employees! Not a single person feigned distress over the imminent pilfering of their greasy beef products. Bah! Humburger!
This cheesed me off, so I said to the guy who was taking our order, “Don’t you know who this is!? This is your arch archenemy! It’s THE HAMBURGLAR!”
To which he responded, “I don’t believe in that.”
Me: “Oh..uhh..ok?”
Doesn’t believe in corporate mascots? Gwaaahh?
The whole event was highly disappointing. We had envisioned a far more dramatic response, in which Mickey D’s goes into full lockdown mode with the employees darting around shrieking, “This is not a drill, people! It’s go time!” as steel cages descend from the ceiling to safeguard all of the compromised burgers.
No such luck.
It was still a fantastic night.
Usually, when the roommate and I go prowling around town on the weekends, I try my best to avoid toting a food baby around with me. To accomplish this, I ixnay as many of those evil but deliciously awesome carbos as I can from my daytime diet to keep my tummy looking as much like the pre-Columbus world as is possible.
But not this Friday, boy-o. This Friday, I let my inner fat kid tear it up. And the carbier the better! Pasta la vista, contents of my fridge! After all, as Juno, I had to look as preggers as possible.
I once read that Matt Damon lost something ridiculous like 40 pounds in about an hour for two days of shooting as a Gulf War vet in the movie Courage Under Fire.
I share his fortitude for whole heartedly committing to a role - but on the total opposite end of the spectrum. Way more fun becoming a tub of chub than a Kate Moss.
Before the roomie and I hit the town, we had some delightful trick-or-treaters come a-knockin’ on our door. Thankfully, Stacey had bought some Reese’s to hand out. All I had to give were either some stale Zips, a hand full of dried cranberries, or a swig of strawberry flavored Smirnov, which I didn’t think would bode well with the munchkins’ parental units.
Since Stacey was decked out as the Hamburglar, we decided to pop into Mickey D’s for ha ha’s on our way downtown. Unfortunately, the hilarity was utterly one-sided.
No one batted an eye when she walked in - not even the employees! Not a single person feigned distress over the imminent pilfering of their greasy beef products. Bah! Humburger!
This cheesed me off, so I said to the guy who was taking our order, “Don’t you know who this is!? This is your arch archenemy! It’s THE HAMBURGLAR!”
To which he responded, “I don’t believe in that.”
Me: “Oh..uhh..ok?”
Doesn’t believe in corporate mascots? Gwaaahh?
The whole event was highly disappointing. We had envisioned a far more dramatic response, in which Mickey D’s goes into full lockdown mode with the employees darting around shrieking, “This is not a drill, people! It’s go time!” as steel cages descend from the ceiling to safeguard all of the compromised burgers.
No such luck.
It was still a fantastic night.
No comments:
Post a Comment