The Fam Came Out West!

So yes, the whole fam, brothers and all, came out west to visit me over the holidays.

It was great having them all out here…for the first five minutes.

My family is uberly sarcastic and competitive with one another (there was a code orange situation between my brothers over a bet to see who could name the most Samuel L. Jackson movies) and when we are forced to cohabitate tight quarters with one another for extended periods of time, such as hotel rooms and tiny rental cars, the mood is often tense and hostile.

(Side note: why is it that practically every guy I know secretly lusts after Samuel L. Jackson? I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the almighty Shaft was the surreptitious star of many a chicken choking fantasies. Let’s not forget that this is the man who brought us the film Snakes on a Plane. Wince.)

But no, all in all, I had a great time with the fam and we got to do a lot of fun-filled family activities. The most sock rockin’ of which were going to L.A. for a day, spending an afternoon south of the border in Tijuana, and lunching at the Kansas City Barbeque, a.k.a. the Top Gun Bar.

While I uncompromisingly publicly deride the lofty level of fromaginess of what is quite possibly Tom Cruise’s most immortalizing of movies, the truth is that my mockery serves as a flimsy shroud for my covert adoration of Top Gun and all things Cruise related. As far as I am concerned, Tommy boy can spring a crazy leak on as many of Opera’s couches as he likes and I will always support him, even in his choice to rob the cradle of Mushy-Face McHolmes.

Spending the day in L.A. was so fantastic! My body was peppered with goose bumps the entire time. Mostly at the thought of having a close encounter of the celebrity kind (Unfortunately, however, we did not see a single celeb…not even a double D-list star like Anna Faris), but also because I think L.A. is going to be my next life pit-stop after my Sandy Eggo coach turns into a pumpkin.

The greatest part of going to L.A. was visiting the Kodak Theater (for those of you who don’t know what that is, the Kodak Theater has been the casa of the Academy Awards for the past 7 years). It was magnificent. The entire time I was there, I was fighting back the urge to either burst into tears or defecate my pants, like an overly enthused, pants-wearing monkey. During the tour, I sat in the front row, 4th chair from the right (if you’re facing the stage) and now, I so can not wait for Oscar night to see whose caboose is parked in my seat!

Starry eyed sigh. No matter how many times I brush my teeth, I can’t seem to get the taste of Oscar ambrosia out of my mouth. Mmm minty fresh pipedreams.