Chapter 2: Eddie's Place

But never fear. Soon after I flew the coop from the preschool, I landed a job hostessing/waitressing at a brand new restaurant called Eddie’s Place. The commute to Eddie’s is a kick ass 20 minutes, which totally blew my hour and a half long commute to the navy job to smithereens. Plus, the earliest shift doesn’t start until 10 am, so I can still squirrel away all of my precious z’s sans problemo. Plus plus Stacey also got a job working there, which makes the work much more entertaining.

During the dawn of my Eddie‘s Place career, aside from a few irritating kinks in the computer system, and a hand full of ‘tude-toting, queen-ish customers (Whatever happened to the fear of the booger-burger?), everything was peaches n’ cream. The work was pretty easy and the rest of the employees were a lot of fun to hang out with, especially the other hostesses, Veronica and Kayla.

The honeymoon phase didn’t last long, however. Eddie, who shall hereby be known as E.G.G. (evil, gay giant), turned out to be a little, money-grubbing whore. First, he cut our hours, then he laid off Veronica, then he took over the dinner shifts (the better tipping ones) by working them himself (bee tee dubs, Eddie gives the tip money he receives during his shifts to his cabana boy boyfriend as his “salary,” who he has playing Cinderella washing dishes because he also laid off the original dishwasher).

Plus, Eddie likes to berate the hostesses in front of customers and seems to think we all have the brains of bowls of oatmeal. Quote: “Michaela, when you run out of quarters, you can use dimes and nickels instead…because two dimes…plus a nickel…equals 25 cents!” Good to know E.G.G. And that’s coming from a guy who was born and raised in Philly, yet still managed to misspell Philadelphia, as in Philadelphia cheese steak, on all of the menus. Today’s soup is cream of dumb ass.

I still work there but I am hotly searching for new employment. Now, I just spend most of my time at Eddie’s Place fantasizing about cracking E.G.G. over his hard-boiled head with a frying pan. The guy is a millionaire! He had been retired for three years at the age of 45 and just got bored! And that’s why he decided to open a restaurant! Purely for ha ha’s!

Grrr…